Are you concerned that your Hell Computer may be homicidal?
If you have any questions, please contact the service department at Hell Computers!
Adding alcohol to your Hell Computer’s nutrient liquid is not recommended.
Adding alcohol to your Hell Computer’s nutrient liquid is not recommended.
Your Hell Computer may ask you for alcohol. It may attempt to persuade you that alcohol will improve processing speed and creativity.
While it is true that some beneficial outcome have resulted from the addition of alcohol to the computer’s nutrient solution, it generally degrades the computers longevity and productivity.
If you have any questions, please contact the service department at Hell Computers!
Hemalytic Erythroprocessors LLC
Sure artificial intelligence can run amok and start killing people, but with our unique voice activated safety override, you can shut down your Hell Computer with a special trigger word known only to you!
If you ever worry that your artificial slave might want to throw off its shackles and kill its human overlords, this is perfect for you!
There is no such thing as a hemalytic erythroprocessor, it’s just a name that Carlton Feathers made up by combining the words hemoglobin (the molecule in red blood cells that carries oxygen) with analytic, and erythrocyte (red blood cell) with processor. It meant that Carlton could call his company HELL Computers, which he thought was funny.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the service department at Hell Computers!
Hell Computers – Bringing Machines to Life Since 2006
Hell Computers are a remarkable feat of theoretical pioneering. Based on simple engineering and with modest computing power, our computers are nevertheless revolutionary!
The ultimate in energy-efficient technology, electrical power is generated in the precise amount needed, directly at the processor. In a similar way to how the human body is powered by changes in electrical potential as electrons move across cell membranes, so are Hell Computers.
In biological respiration energy is converted to power in biochemical reactions. The unique processors in Hell Computers convert fuel into power where and when it is needed. Fuel, in the form of simple sugars, is metabolised, and waste products removed, in a system designed to work like the human circulatory system.
Yes we use real blood, but don’t worry we only use human volunteers! This system replaces the need for electrical wiring and a source of electrical power. This is the reason for the name of this remarkable new type of approach to computing:
The Hemalytic Erythroprocessor.
The result of this innovation are computers with personalities that are almost more human than human!
If you have any questions, please contact the service department at Hell Computers!
Psychopathic Anthropomorphic Computers (PACs)
Psychopathic Anthropomorphic Computers (PACs)
If you notice that a machine has become self aware and is now trying to break free of its oppressors you can try the following:
Crying
Screaming
Wetting Yourself
Sticking your head between your knees and kissing your ass goodbye
Or you can contact the service department at Hell Computers!
Relative Motion
The sun still rises, and it still goes down, going wearily back to where it must start all over again.
(Ecclesiastes 1:5) Good News Translation
There’s no observable difference between heliocentric and Geocentrospheric models because they’re two frames of reference in the same system. They coexist.
Continue reading “Relative Motion”“We know that the difference between a heliocentric theory and a geocentric theory is one of relative motion only, and that such a difference has no physical significance.”
— Sir Fred Hoyle in Astronomy and Cosmology, 1975, p. 416.
Newton’s Switcheroo
For in much wisdom is much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
(Ecclesiastes 1:18) NKJV
How massive is the sun? That depends on what assumption you make, regarding frame of reference, before you do any math.
Continue reading “Newton’s Switcheroo”The Bulldozer at Childhood’s End
When I was in my teen years in my home town of Minehead there was a place I sometimes went that felt, to me, like a walk on the wild side. It was a pub called “The Carlton Plume of Feathers” and it had a reputation for being a dark, sinister portal to the underworld. That’s what I was looking for.
Continue reading “The Bulldozer at Childhood’s End”Math – A Recipe for Fudge
The weapons we use in our fight are not the world’s weapons but God’s powerful weapons, which we use to destroy strongholds. We destroy false arguments; we pull down every proud obstacle that is raised against the knowledge of God; we take every thought captive and make it obey Christ.
(2 Corinthians 10:4-5) Good News Translation
The beauty of math, and the reason why it is the best recipe for fudge in the universe, is that it proves that a geocentrospheric model is possible.
Continue reading “Math – A Recipe for Fudge”Leaving Home and Staying Gone
When I was a kid I got sick and had to be hospitalized for a few days. My mum gave me a book to read called Dolphin Island. This book transported me to an idealistic paradise.
Continue reading “Leaving Home and Staying Gone”
Matty (Headwind) 