Matty’s Magical Gospel Golf Spell

For When You Really Need a Miracle

A man named Simon lived there, who for some time had astounded the Samaritans with his magic. He claimed that he was someone great, and everyone in the city, from all classes of society, paid close attention to him. “He is that power of God known as ‘The Great Power,’” they said. They paid this attention to him because for such a long time he had astonished them with his magic. But when they believed Philip’s message about the good news of the Kingdom of God and about Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. Simon himself also believed; and after being baptized, he stayed close to Philip and was astounded when he saw the great wonders and miracles that were being performed.

(Acts 8:9-13) Good News Translation

A busybody Pastor once accused us (that’s me and the Holy spirit) of being Simon the Sorcerer. At the time we were offended and took it personally. Now we simply accept that we were recognized as having power.

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JetPress

A bar chart showing change in website traffic at Matty's Paradigm

A Collision of Corruption and Incompetence

You’re going to get ripped off no matter what, so suck it up.

And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you.

(Matthew 10:13) ESV

In my religion (Christianity) we’re trained to recognize toxic relationships and then leave them with as little fuss as possible. This is a way of preserving our inner peace.

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Comfort My People

Artist impression of what the Earth may have looked like on the third day of creation

November 1

Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and cry to her
that her warfare is ended,
that her iniquity is pardoned,
that she has received from the Lord’s hand
double for all her sins.

A voice cries:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

(Isaiah 40:1-5) ESV

In November we consider unfulfilled prophecy in the context of the spherical hollow Earth model that we deduced in March. How does 3D modeling affect our understanding of the plagues of the tribulation?

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Liverworts, Fungi

Let no one deceive you by any means; for that Day will not come unless the falling away comes first, and the man of sin is revealed, the son of perdition, who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God.

(2 Thessalonians 2:3-4) NKJV

Liverworts, fungi” is inductive sleight-of-hand. Supposedly, Liverworts and fungi are at the low end of evolutionary development so, supposedly, their presence in the stratigraphic column indicates that a sediment is old.

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Perigeon

But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars of heaven will fall, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken.

(Mark 13:24-25) NKJV

When asteroids approach the Earth they’re at perigeon. You’ve heard of perihelion, we need a new word. We’re going to coin a word to express the concept of perihelion, but proximity to the Earth (geo), not the sun.

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The Weight of a Talent

And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.

(Revelation 16:21) KJV

Can we calculate a new planetary radius for the Millennial Kingdom based on what Revelation tells us about how much stellar material will fall to Earth? How many stars are there? What’s the weight of a talent?

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Gall as an Effect

Who is the man so wise that he can understand this? To whom has the mouth of the Lord spoken, that he may declare it? Why is the land ruined and laid waste like a wilderness, so that no one passes through? And the Lord says: “Because they have forsaken my law that I set before them, and have not obeyed my voice or walked in accord with it, but have stubbornly followed their own hearts and have gone after the Baals, as their fathers taught them. Therefore thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Behold, I will feed this people with bitter food, and give them poisonous water to drink. I will scatter them among the nations whom neither they nor their fathers have known, and I will send the sword after them, until I have consumed them.”

(Jeremiah 9:12-16) ESV

Gall as an effect is bitter consequences that we have to endure. The cause may take the form of immorality, idolatry or any other sin. The consequences are widespread and affect whole communities.

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Left Behind

After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands; And cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb.

(Revelation 7:9-10) KJV

The Left Behind books and movies are an example of gross mis-handling of scripture. Christians are taught that anyone left behind has lost their opportunity to repent and escape the judgement of God.

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The Rapture

Let no one deceive you by any means; for that Day will not come unless the falling away comes first, and the man of sin is revealed, the son of perdition, who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God.

(2 Thessalonians 2:3-4) NKJV

The pre-tribulation rapture is a load of dingo’s kidneys. Christians and the Church will be on the Earth during six of the seven plagues that are part of the tribulation.

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Saved out of Great Tribulation

After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands; And cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb.

And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they? And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

(Revelation 7:9-10, 13-14) KJV

A great multitude is saved out of great tribulation because the Church, Christians, are still here as an effective witness to the saving grace of God.

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